I’ve always wondered why people considered suicide. I’ve had strong urges before and then my daughter can and made me grateful I didn’t. Pain is usually temporary and you’ll never know what’s beyond if you stop and the current chapter because you don’t like the way the book is headed.

Today I’m going through so much pain. I can’t see beyond the pain. Emotional pain is the worst. As I slowly kill myself through alcohol what will be left of me if I ever make it through.

I have no love. I’ve always wanted to be loved and to feel love. I drink in hopes of alcohol poisoning because I just don’t see much of a future for me. I fight and I fight but it’s harder to fight the longer I fight. What am I todo when I no longer want to fight?